She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
