We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
