My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
