I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
