she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dignity is for republicans.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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