she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
