he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
