I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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