You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it glows. i had to have it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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