So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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