I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
