i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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