yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
