I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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