well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
