bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
