is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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