No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
