I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
