If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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