so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
