i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
