last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Can I color on your dick again?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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