Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
