we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
