Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
