her vagine was all disorganized.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
