I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
