Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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