If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
