she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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