i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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