If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
