just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
