you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
