Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
