woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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