And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
