Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
