i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
