please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
