mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we have officially lost it.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
