***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
