Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
