Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
