he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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