Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
