what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
