Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
