First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
